Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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