Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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