He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
