I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
