Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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