im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
