Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize