Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize