come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I still have a little drunk in my system
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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