Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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