what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
