Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You are the jesus of drinking
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
