My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
