next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
