i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
tonight lets celebrate not being married
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My vagina is officially offended.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
