She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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