And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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