At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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