I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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