He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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