after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
