Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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