But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
