so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
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He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
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You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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