It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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