Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
