oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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