So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
