Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
