My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just found a bag of teeth...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
