Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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