The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
