Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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