why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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