break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
