I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize