Im at strip club and am horny
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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