why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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