Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
