Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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