no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
