My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
