mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
