playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
