i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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