I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
