Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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