she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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