Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
