Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
