My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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