Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
