I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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