dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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