I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I have post one night stand depression
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
