they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
