I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize