the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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