you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
