You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
