i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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