I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
