so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
We're not piercing ourselves today.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
