ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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