the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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