Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
