Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
He kissed a someone with a penis
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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