dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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