I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
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Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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