I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
