I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
