I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
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McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
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you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
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she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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