What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
