I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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